It can be quite an emotionally draining experience when you begin to see things as they are; begin to see life for the reality that it is, writes NUSAIBA RISHA.
Growing up, like any other major phase in life, is painful. Not so much as physical pain, but emotional pain. You slowly realize that the invincible palace of dreams and fantasies that you had so lovingly and naively constructed during your pre-teenage years slowly starts to crumble and crack when you are faced with reality. This reality can come at you head-on or it can be a series of mild events leading to the big finale when you finally realize that you are, in fact, in the real world now.Growing up occurs in a series of days, months, and minutes but the realization that you are now experiencing ‘growing up,’ in a sense, can occur over a matter of scatteredcontemplative days or even in a matter of minutes.
It is emotionally draining when you see things as they are and even though your parents might try to protect you from the blatant exposure up until the very last minute that you step out of their house, but even some realities they cannot sugarcoat. Some people face reality early into their 20s, when they suddenly realize that they are officially adults now, but some people experience it at 18, 17, or even 16.
You realize that all the fears that were at bay because of your own denial cannot be ignored any longer. One of the main components of growing up is having to successfully distinguish between what is good for you and what is not; in other words, a sense of maturity. But the real question is: what is maturity?
Is it the time when you refrain from doing childish things? Or is it the full attainment of responsibility when you willingly and painfully start to demolish your palace of dreams and fantasies?
At 17, I’m stuck somewhere in between. I have always been a precocious child. I’m a very unadventurous person, but, at the same time, I reign over my palace with utmost joy and authority. Even though I think that I have come a long way in the sense of maturity, I still like to dream and I don’t plan on crushing my own palace anytime soon. So till then, life just has to perform its duty of teaching me lessons while I try to find a balance between my dreams and reality.
Although, I do possess faith, and I know that by this faith, I will get through just fine. I know that my palace will crack and break in between, but at least I have faith that my faith in God will help do it painlessly. And, perhaps, when I’m old, I would still have my throne amidst a rubble of my dreams, but at least I’ll realize that some parts of my palace are still standing solid and that maybe after all, reality wasn’t as bad as I imagined.