Letters to the Editor
Q: In Maghrib, `Isha and Fajr prayers, we recite Surah Fatiha and another Surah in loud voice. But now we are offering prayer at home. Can we read these Surahs loudly at home also?Please clarify.
Dilavar Yaragudri,
On Email
YMD
The prayers (salah) of an individual and an Imam of a congregation are the same in every respect except that the Follower of an Imam makes the intention that he is following an Imam, though the Imam himself does not make the intention anytime that he is leading a congregation.
A Follower has to be conscious that that he is following an Imam because he has to do exactly as the Imam does. (Except that women’s sitting posture is different). But an Imam may, or may not, have small or big number of followers, and is not affected by them in any way. He might start alone, but he could be joined by followers in between.
Therefore, an individual should perform according to the rules laid down by the Shari`ah. If the Shari`ah requires that you do the recitation loudly, then, you recite aloud – whether alone or leading a group (or a single). In fact, as you are doing an obligatory prayer at home, you might be joined by your wife or children as their Imam.
However, if a woman is doing her Prayer, she may not attempt the Jahr (loud recitation) in the Fajr, Maghrib and `Isha.
Q: I have been married for more than twelve years. I desire to seek Khula’ from my husband. I have two boys. One is eleven and the other is seven years old, Masha Allah. But I’m stuck in a very bad situation. My husband and myself are very different personalities. We are trying to work on our marriage, but in vain. Our perspective and thinking are very different leading to fights every now and then. I always supported him, but he has always taken me for granted. His mother teaches him not to pay my Zakah, not to pay my maternity bills which then my mother paid. He also doesn’t take care of my feelings. He never loves me and supports me. I get rent on of my house brought by my mother so I get rent. So I buy my clothes and accessories and monthly needed things from it. Also he is too much in debt. I from the start of the marriage advised him not to take extra debt but he did not listen. He runs his own business which is running in complete debt. He blames me for his bad luck.
He doesn’t understand that we are his responsibility. And whenever we sit and try to discuss on such topic then we end up fighting. These things have taken a toll on my health resulting in blood pressure and thyroid. Our fights increased once I stopped working for his office. And he has no soft corner for me. Neither he cares for me. He asks what is the use of myself being so qualified is. So I wonder if he got me to do his office chore.
Please advise, because I have completely lost all love and respect for him. Also when he tries to get physical, I just don’t want to do it. I have lost complete gratitude for him and I also did Istikhara. The result was positive for me to leave this place.
Please guide in the light of Shariah. As I don’t want my self and him to land in Jahannum because of each other.
Awaiting a response.
S.K.,
On Email
YMD
Your letter leaves us depressed. It is because we find you as a wife of a man who has deceived you through and through. There was a time when you were probably well-off with your parents. Then he and his folks spotted you as someone who will assist your future husband to fulfil his dreams and offer you a goodly life. Your family’s monetary status and your own good qualifications were especially attractive elements. You might be good-looking too.
Your husband’s behaviour now, after all these years of his enjoyment, tells us that, perhaps, from the start your husband had these aims and objectives before him. Islamically uneducated and untrained, it would then not have occurred to him that, at the start, marriage is a pleasure, but is essentially a responsibility. In fact, a huge responsibility.
He never knew, and never cared to know what Islam stands for, nor was he ever made to learn that, as a Muslim, he will have to maintain you throughout life, offering you the same kind and standard of life as you were used to in your father’s home; that he will also bear the entire cost of life: housing, food, clothing, medication, and recreation, even if the wife is able to pay for them herself. And, further, influenced by the modern ideas, its fashions, social norms, and marital obligations, he never took the question of children any time serious, considered them a nuisance, a means of inconvenience, and maybe, in view of what modern culture stands for, hated them as obstacles to his life of pleasures.
These perverted ideas, given by the modern life, led him to treat life easy, which influenced his business. In consequence, he had to fail. Since he was freed of Islamic principles, he resorted to loans from the banks, (probably he was already in debt before marriage, but concealed it), and, as he went deeper into it, he is destined to lose it. Little wonder he asks you to work for him, work in his shop. He expects you to cook food, cleanse the children, feed them – and him, wash the dishes and the linen, sweep the house, and then go out for ten hours to run the business (he disappears so often). He has been taught by a destroyed and destructive culture that: Men and women are equal!
He will next ask you to sell your jewellery, if you and your family will not rescue him. But, if you did it, after some time, he will be back with debts. Perhaps, if the children grew up, get employed, then they might dispose the shop and ask him to sit at home.
That’s the story – long and short. We know him very well, because in this Ummah, there are thousands of them in every neighborhood. You are lucky to have sons. If they were girls, you were destined to the slums. This is the price the Ummah pays for abandoning Islam.
Coming to some complaints raised by you:
- Your husband never loved you. Sex is not love. He looked at you as a means to achieve his objectives.
- His present quarrels are because of his monetary failures.
- He quarrels with you because you have stopped giving him.
- His mother is with him is his marital crimes.
- Your Zakah is your responsibility not your husband’s.
- The amount spent on your maternity and other expenses (clothes etc.), may be demanded back of him through a Shari`ah Court and borrowed on his account and paid back to you.
- He (or you) ought not to blame you for his business failure. He is entirely responsible for it.
He still has a chance to recover. Let him become a Muslim, seek Allah’s forgiveness, and do business on Islamic principles. Allah (swt) promises to forgive and guide in future. And His promise is true. But His promise is for a Muslim – not a half-Muslim, quarter-Muslim or a registered Muslim.- As for separation, we suggest that the leaders of the two families first understand the situation, then get acquainted with pertaining Islamic laws, and then speak to him, to stop harassing you. But there is no need for argumentation: E.g., “She said this,” “I said this,” Or, “I have warned her, but she doesn’t listen,” Or, “I have given her so much, but she doesn’t grateful,” etc. Let them warn him in simple words: “Don’t harass her. She will not work in your shop.” Repeat of the past stories will take you all nowhere. As for his financial problems, they are entirely his business as to how he will solve them, not those of the family leaders.
- Separation should be the last resort.
Q: I request you to help me with the address of Esar Publications or Saiyed Ahmad Isaar.The author has to his credit several translations of Iqbal’s Persian poetry books like Zaboor-e-`Ajam. Can you please help me get his address or contact number of the publication or the author? I know that this is not your job, but can I request you to help me?
Usman khan Umar khan,
On Email
YMD
We truly regret to say that we have no idea of the author’s address, or even his whereabouts.
Q: If women have to remain in homes, how can they remain physically active? Particularly, if one owns small houses?
Sameer Ahmad,
On Email
YMD
If they own small houses, their first priority should be to shift to a bigger house because small houses produce small-minded young men, who give up their education and spend their time watching TV and mobile.
At all events, it is a big illegitimate question, and you are advised to some reading, especially lives of the women-Companions of the Prophet. Do that for a year, and gradually your mind will open up.
In the meanwhile, as you are a thoughtful person, and much disturbed by the sight of half a dozen men engaged in a walk in the morning, as against a million in every city, you may question the rest of the 99% as to why they ignore exercises.
Please find attached press release about ‘Global Halal Standards and Accreditation Emphasized.’ I request you to kindly publish in your media and also send me the links once it is published. Should you need any further information, please don’t hesitate to contact me. I am thankful to you in advance for your kind consideration.
Halal Research Council:
98-A Sunflower, Block J1 Johar Town,
Lahore-Pakistan
92 42 35303096 , 35913096-98, 35913056
Aiman Jahangir| Food Technologist
Email: ft@halalrc.org Web: www.halalrc.org
YMD
We have placed your note as an advertisement, otherwise it is not of our interest.
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I am a postgraduate from Hyderabad, just looking out for hadith, encountered with your amazing blogs or site. Thought of sharing Kudos to you. Let me know if I can be of any help in this amazing work…I can write or research, and could do any service and will be grateful if I could contribute – because I can’t be of any financial help to you.
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Amtul Salam,
On Email
YMD
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